endsofearth's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- learn to let go My chest has been hurting, so I've been remedying it with sleep for most of the day. It seems as the older I get, the more restrictive I need to make my diet, lest I end up with the same health problems as my parents. I've been fairly good at eating healthier and making better choices, but for some reason, decided to just go on a binge over my weekend and ate way too much sugar and salt, which gave me palpitations and a tightness in my chest. This scares me, because I fear that I will go to "sleep it off" one day and not wake back up. I also should be taking it easier on the coffee... I saw my therapist today and talked to her about the post I had made in my FB group that was apparently so spicy, the admin had to lock the thread. I see a lot of personal posts in my private support groups, so I made one of my own since I was feeling down one day about everything going on- about how I dislike going to visit the kids because K always propositions me for sex, and the last visit it was at an inappropriate time. I really hate it. I no longer want him to touch me, something about it feels wrong and uncomfortable. I tell myself before I go to visit that I won't let him do it, but I always end up folding because somehow the thought of him sleeping with another woman makes me feel sick. I no longer desire to be in a relationship with him, so why I think this way is beyond me. I need to focus on me and learn to let go. 3:41 am - October 26, 2022 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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